Living Foolishly

Paradoxes. The Bible is full of them. A paradox is something thatis self-contradicting, and doesn't make logical sense (that is the dan dominguez defination anyway). Probably the one most commonly found in the Bible is "the last shall be first" (or vice versa). Thinking about that doesn't really make sense. The person who is last is last, and the person who is first is first. At least according to the world.

Anyway, that specific example isn't what I want to talk about, more just the general idea. The idea of living a nonsensical life. As this semester has gone on, I've continually gone back to God, asking Him what He desires me to do both now and after graduation. I got general ideas of what He wants or desires, but I would then filter them through what made sense and what I was willing to do. I thought I was willing to do quite a lot.

I know God has called me to be a pastor, so I am continually seeking Him as to what sized church? Where do I start? Where to go? What role do I take? What is a Biblical pastor? And many other questions.

Enough rambling, the point is I didn't care for the idea of starting with nothing. Maybe a small house church with a handful of attenders. This couldn't support me let alone a possible family. I don't want to be working two jobs, or not know how to make it from one day to the next. Especially if it was an area I didn't know. I wouldn't have money, friends, or anything. I thought it just wasn't possible, therefore that couldn't be what God wanted. I mean, I know that God can do anything, but we still have to be realistic right? Nope.

God doesn't expect us to understand everything. He expects obedience, and surrender. He expects FAITH. What is faith anyway? "...faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1). (Thanks Scott for having us memorize that years ago, I haven't forgotten it.)

People don't understand this, and why should they? It doesn't make sense. Especially those who aren't part of the Church. But, even those who are part of the Church don't like this idea. Or maybe they have plenty of arguements that give them an escape from truly living by faith. Yeah, it may be 'wise' to live safely, with money in the bank, a good retirement fund, a stable job, a safe community, etc. But is that what God asks for?

Let's look at what is asked of God in Proverbs 30:7-9:

⁷Two things I ask of you;
deny them not to mebefore I die:
⁸Remove far from me falsehood and lying;
give me neither poverty nor riches;
feed me with the food that isneedful for me,
⁹lest I befull and deny you
and say,"Who is the LORD?"
or lest I be poor and steal
and profane the name of my God.

The NLT says, "Give me just enough to satisfy my needs" at the end of verse 8. How many of us would be willing to pray for that? I'm not saying that having money is wrong. Please don't hear that, the Church needs people with money.

Today I read in Matthew about when Jesus was delivering the sermon on the mount, and He said:

²⁵ “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? ²⁶ Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? ²⁷ Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

²⁸ “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, ²⁹ yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. ³⁰ And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

³¹ “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear’ ³² These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. ³³ Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

³⁴ “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

This really spoke to me. "Why do you have so little faith?" I realized it doesn't matter what God calls me to do. It doesn't have to make sense. It can be complete foolishness in the eyes of the world, but I need to do it. I wanna be like Noah. I want to build an ark when there is no water. I want to do things that don't make sense to serve my Master. I still would rather find a church that pays well, where i can support a family, and those type of things. The point is more than that, I desire to follow God's leading.

So if that means He leads me to a point of not knowing how I am going to make it from one day to the next, then I will do it.

Mom, don't worry, I don't know if this is actually what He wants yet. I just know He needed to get me to the point of willingness and obedience.

Sorry this is so long, I hadn't posted in a while and had a lot on my mind.

[Bold and italics added.]